I just finished my Wisdom weekend number 5 in Denver.
I had been so stressed about going, not knowing anybody, the weather, and what to freaking wear.
All that stress for nothing.
I loved the people, the weather was great, the course was excellent, and I all my worry was for naught (is naught even a word?).
We looked at new models. And, I got to say share and definately say what couldn’t be said. It was really amazing.
Here’s a few things I got to say/talk about that opened up worlds to me:
I admitted that I talk to dead people – it opened up conversations with other people who do. One friend is taking a medium course. One man asked me to talk to his wife who passed away ten years ago and I did. I gave him comfort. It was so fun to be “out of the closet” about this and have real conversations about life beyond.
My dream of having a great relationship and how I just don’t talk about it – I admitted that I think all men are either gay or married or unavailable – my new model is that there are fabulous available men everywhere
I rewrote the words to “I Will Survive” sung by Gloria Gaynor – We had the whole room singing the revised version, “I Am Alive” and rocking the room. I realized how I love to do this. I love the camaraderie, creativity, fun and excitement. It makes me feel alive. I am going to look for more opportunities to do this.
A woman I’ve met before and love told me I should be a comedian. That I could just be myself and tell stories. I’ve never thought of that before. I’ve always wanted to write for my son performing on Saturday Night Live. But never for me to perform. Food for thought – kind of exciting to think about.
I feel like I’m part of a new community. By opening my mouth and sharing, I felt known. And, by listening to the other people, I felt like I knew them. There were people I knew: three I met at my Atlanta weekend, some I knew from my other courses, and two who were coaching me via internet and phone calls. And, I got to meet them all in person. It was fabulous.
I got to speak up when I was upset. Or when I just had something to share.
One gentleman asked me for my number. My instincts were to run. Get the hell out. I asked my new friends what to do. Instead of running, I just spoke my truth. That I just wasn’t feeling comfortable with it. And instead of being upset, he thanked me. It was so cool. We hugged. I thanked him for letting me say no. It was a huge breakthrough for me to just be free to say what was there.
I met a lot of great people. And for the first time, I’m not afraid that they don’t like me. Or that if they got to know me they will realize I’m too needy, neurotic, or crazy. They already saw that part of me and still liked me. I feel like doing cartwheels (if I was still 13) or singing at the tops of my lungs. It is a huge opening for me to be free.
That’s what I created – being free. Free to be me, to speak, to pursue my dreams. And, for the first time, I really believe I can.
Thanks for listening. My flight leaves in an hour and a half. Whoopee. The red eye. You gotta love it!!!!!!