I’m waiting for a plane and they are already boarding the disabled and elderly.
I don’t think I have time to write this, but I’m going to try it anyway to see how far I can get.
Background: I’m on my way to Denver to do a make-up weekend for a course. I missed a session of my New York course due to a conflict.
No one would really know if I skipped it, but I would. Doing the make-up even though I don’t want to and it scares me will have me grow as a person. Being out of my comfort zone causes me to break through areas that hold me back and create miracles in my life that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Boarding infants right now.
I’ve been nervous all week about what to bring:
do I bring a coat?
can I fit everything into a carry-on?
what clothes do I bring?
do I need boots?
how many pairs of boots can fit in my little bag?
with weather that spans from 30 degrees to 70, what the hell do I wear?
do I bring my computer?
how do I get my toiletries into those small travel sizes without them spilling all over my bag like last time?
what should I wear?
should I bring my new boots or just wear the comfortable worn old ones?
And on and on……..
And now I’m at the airport. They are loading groups A and B and I am E.
Every day this week I got an email from JetBlue with new rules for travelling.
You can only bring 2 bags – a carry-on suitcase and a purse
You need to take your computer out of the bag………
Every day I was getting more and more stressed trying to figure. Yet as I said, here I am. On time with 2 bags.
OK, I’ll confess. My second one is pretty big. And, I have two other smaller bags inside it.
Going to bed last night I had 3 bags at the door ready to walk out. I woke up this morning in a panic – what if I have to throw one out? I got on the floor and repacked the two little ones into a bigger bag.
Are they weighing or counting? Very big difference. On my last flight they were weighing since I checked my big bag. It was 55 pounds – 5 pounds over. I had to open my bag in full view of everyone, and either throw things away (goodbye one pound jar of peanut butter) or shove them into my already full carry on, I had shoes (which are heavy) coming out the top of my carry-on. It was humiliating.
Today’s game is two bags. So I will play their game.
My real question is: is it worth this amount of stress to try to pack the right things in the right way? I’m feeling a little over the top right now.
Let me see………..does it?
And the answer would be definitively yes. I want to look good, be comfortable, and not be too hot or too cold. So yes.
And how will I know I got it right? I guess I can let you know on Sunday when I’m on my way home.
For me if I’m not comfortable, I’m miserable. If my feet hurt. If any part of me is sweating. If my pants are too tight. If my sweater itches. All these things could ruin my good time.
And, I want to feel like I look good. I don’t know these people. If I’m wearing the “right” clothes, I can pretend I have my shit together. I don’t know how long that can last, but I can try.
Although, my worrying, neurotic side may come out no matter how hard I try to hide it. When I’m nervous like I am now, it dials itself up about a hundred fold. Especially because I’m nervous about going someplace I don’t know with people I’ve never met.
At the end of the day, (I hate that phrase, but I’m using it anyway), it’s all about being myself. My crazy, sneaker wearing, comfortable low hanging bra self.
I used to have it that I couldn’t attract someone (ok, a man, which I hide that I really do want to do) unless I am dolled up. Well, sneakers and low boobs are it for this flight. No underwire digging into me for four hours.
It’s a miracle that the new me can still feel good the way I’m dressed right now. I CAN feel attractive regardless, especially since I have not YET lost the few pounds I gained. To accept how I am as my most glorious and wonderful self. Unbelievable and a direct result of the Beyond Fitness seminar we finished two days ago. We all got that we are fabulous just the way we are. No more waiting to be fixed. Right here right now – amazing people.
OK, they are on D. I better get going. More adventures to come.
Thanks for listening.