Tried to Stay Upset
I was in a great mood until our new wonderful AFLAC system kept throwing me out when I was trying to sell to a client. It was taking a long time to get to the next screen and instead of getting there, it logged me out. I was trying to stay positive.
“I’m sorry, but I am going to have to leave.”
What could I say? I couldn’t make the system work.
I packed up my stuff. I went outside.
I got in my car. I actually cried for several moments.
I decided not to resist my feelings. I let them out and keep watching my thoughts. I traced them back to an 8 year old incident.
My mother was trying to teach me how to hit the tennis ball for the first time.
I couldn’t hit it. I kept missing it and missing it. Finally I quit.
“Keep trying,” my mother said.
“NO. I CAN’T DO THIS.”
I don’t know if I threw my racket at that age, but I definitely had a temper tantrum.
I can see that I still hate not being able to do something. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I want to quit. I make it wrong. I make myself wrong. The whole world gets wrong.
Well, folks, this has been my work. I haven’t been able to sell.
And it has lasted 4 months. My sales have sucked for 4 months. The longest slump ever. I HATE IT!!!
The Law of Attraction BE DAMNED. I decided to let my negativity flow.
“I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. I CAN’T DO THIS.”
My adult version of the tantrum is to numb it. Give me a beer or wine and some nachos. Let me numb the pain in my chest, neck and back. Numb the fact that when I don’t sell, I don’t make money and it doesn’t seem like I will EVER SELL ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!!!!
Today, I tried to NOT BE HAPPY on the video. You will see what happened if you watch it. I had fun but no tell anyone because I’m supposed to still be miserable.
And, you will learn who Pathetic Patty is. A very close friend. A little too close.
Pathetic Patty or Happy Hilary?
What I know: it definitely helps to get this stuff out. Pretending I’m fine just makes it worse.
This was actually fun. And 45 minutes ago I didn’t think that was possible.
Have a great night. Thanks for listening.