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  • Hilary Burns

Speaking Up

Today my Short, Straight and Curly girls had our Sunday call. After a little while, Virginia spoke up and said she didn’t want to participate and was going to “take her marbles and go home.”

Robyn and I stopped talking and asked her to continue.

“I don’t feel heard or included and I don’t feel a part of this. You’re talking about a call and I don’t know anything about it and ………” She kept going until she felt a part of things. We asked her to continue.

“What I really want to tell you about is what happened yesterday. I was talking to my friend, David for three hours about what my message is. We used google so I didn’t have to type with my broken wrist and it just recorded everything. It was really exciting and this is what David paraphrased about who I am.”

I can’t do justice to it right here, but David got the essence of who Virginia is. She wants people to be heard, get who they are, and know they are ok. And once Virginia got to speak about what was in the way of her participation, she was back in the gr0up and excited again.

Meanwhile, back in my little head, I was now suppressed. I had been so excited about sharing about how I met an old high school classmate who was a television producer and looking for a project. I thought it was something the three of us could do. But when Virginia started speaking, I just stopped.

I just sat back like a bad little girl and stayed quiet. Robyn and Virginia talked and I kept my mouth shut.

Finally I spoke. “OK, I’ve been feeling like I was a bad girl by talking so much. It’s my fault that Virginia felt left out.”

They both laughed. “I really felt that way. But look, all I have to do is say it and I’m back alive again. How wild is that? It’s so easy to come back.”

The other day we had a webinar for my Wisdom Assisting team. We went into breakout sessions and talked about what was in the way of team.

“I don’t feel like I belong. I feel like everyone else is united and I am the one on the outside. People don’t like me and I have to watch my time allotment when I speak so I don’t go over MY TIME.”

No one else on the call felt like they belonged either. But the fascinating thing was that once we all said what was in the way, affinity became present. And team.

And I think it’s that simple. Say what’s in the way. Say what you don’t think you can say. And you will have freedom, be able to listen, be included, and create a powerful life.

At least that’s what I say. I’d love to hear your opinions as well. See if you can comment on this blog. I’d love to know.

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