Overwhelm and Vulnerability
Here’s another one. #9. I’m overwhelmed by my muddled to do list in my head. Feeling stressed.
In my video I said I would make a list of everything I have to do and prioritize it. So here goes:
make my 30 work calls – I’m up to 20
make today’s video – check
figure out what I’m speaking about tonight – check
game plan for book snag – later
get to my messages and emails – later
fix my websites – later
follow up on song and web site guy – tomorrow
chiropractor – this PM
financial guy – this PM
That might be it. It’s not that bad. It just SEEMS overwhelming when it’s all smashed in together in my head. The discomfort is from the feeling that I might be upsetting someone. Then they will “leave me in the driveway.”
It’s just an old brain pattern.
If it happens, it’s ok. I’ve survived this before. No one will die.
If someone’s upset, it’s ok. No one will die.
That’s the way it feels when I am not getting to something. That someone will die. It feels like life or death. So it’s good for me to distinguish it so I can stop, take a breath and try to relax again.
It’s just old patterns from childhood when I was afraid to get someone mad because it seemed like it was DANGEROUS. I needed to avoid this AT ALL COSTS!!!!
Rather than be ashamed that I am this way, I can just accept myself for how I am. I don’t have to be different. I am fine. It’s all good. I really do have a fucking great life. I have an amazing life.
And I have brain patterns and body sensations, I’m out of my comfort zone and it’s really fucking amazing. It really is. What I’ve accomplished the last week is mind blowing in a wonderful way.
Thanks for all of your encouragement and wonderful feedback.
And, as always, thanks for listening.