Yesterday in a course we were looking at the edges of our participation.
I didn’t see it right away, but one of my edges is when I can’t be with what the person is saying. I want to fix their problem rather than just get it. A couple of examples:
My friend’s parents are both not in good shape and could possibly both pass away soon – it’s unknown what can be done for either one right now
She’s an only child and this is really difficult for her – my main concern has been not to say the wrong thing to upset her – I’ve been being careful.
Since seeing that, I’ve been looking at how to support her better and I don’t know how. I can’t imagine what it’s like for her. I don’t know what to say. I wish I could make it better for her. I guess that’s what I can say.
I can’t fix this for her and remove her pain and grief. I want to.
And even though those thoughts are actually about me, that’s the best I can see right now. Letting her know I’m thinking of her and sending her strength.
I have a couple of new young associates that are working with me. They are awesome.
Here’s the part I can’t be with. They both say they have PTSD. They are medicated for it and at times can not get out of bed or function. One also has anxiety and one has depression. They compare medications like it’s soda flavors.
Personally I think this is fucked up. They weren’t in a war. They had bad things happen, I guess. I just feel that the medical profession is labelling them with these diagnoses, medicating them, and then excusing this dysfunctional behavior.
I don’t agree with what is happening.
And, I don’t really know what it’s like for them. I don’t have any facts for my opinions. I just feel like medicating and labelling is so limiting. This prevents me from recreating them or being in their world.
And, it’s not my problem to fix. I just want to be able to support and empower both of them to become highly functioning productive members of society since I see how much they have to offer. I don’t like them hiding behind these diagnoses, but that’s just me wanting something different for them.
I guess I can just say that. That what I see for them is being empowered and free. They have a lot to offer. Let them know what greatness I see in them and leaving the rest to them. Something like that.
OK, 5 more minutes until my power hour is up. Got to go shower and get on my computer for the final day of this weekend’s course.
As usual, thanks for listening. It’s always helpful to work this out outside of my thoughts.
Have a great Sunday.