I just finished recording the book talk. The recording will be available in a few days. Here's what I realized:
I was nervous before the talk.
And I was still nervous after the book talk. Unbelievable. I thought I would finally be able to relax and MOVE ON. But NO, instead, I was questioning myself:
How did I do?
Did I talk too much?
Did I answer the questions?
Why did they stop it when they did?
Why did they jump off the zoom so abruptly?
Was it my fault?
Was it something I did?
It's kind of a tortured way to live. I am giving it up RIGHT NOW!!!!
Here's what I decided in my last video: "Worry, worry, worry....."
I'll never stop worrying. I'll never have my shit together. I don't have to be perfect. I can allow myself to be exactly as I am and not resist it. I can even think it's cute!!!! Wow - that's a new one.
And when I see myself worrying from now on, I can just laugh and realize "I'm doing it again. How freaking cute!! I know it doesn't matter WHAT I'm worrying about. It's just my habitual way of kind of numbing myself from being present. How adorable!! "
[OK, I'm going overboard with the cute and adorable, but I'm trying to change my context for worrying so go with it.]
So, that is my take away from my book talk. Allow it all. Recognize it and breathe. Look around. Get present.
And with that said, I will take off my jewelry and nice top (they only saw me from the shoulders up on the zoom book talk), and relax outside listening to the waves. I will make a list of what I need to do for the rest of the day and then GET TO WORK.
Thanks for listening. I can't wait to share the book talk with you.