Today I am going to move my WordPress blog, CreatingLifeOutHere.com over to my NEW WEB SITE (this one): Getting Real with Hilary.
My advisors have told me it's good to have everything in one place. That's a good thing. It will be automatically updated, there will be less confusion, and I will be known as Getting Real with Hilary.
And yet, I am sad. I am saying goodbye to my Wordpress Blog.
Yesterday I made a promise to a friend that if I say the words crazy, insane or weird, I have to pay her a dollar. While my first instinct is to call myself one of those words (the C one), I am not going to. I will share myself instead.
I remember being sad when I got a new car. I didn't like saying goodbye to my old one. I don't like saying goodbye to people. Instead I say, "see you later." I don't like getting off the phone. Sometimes I prolong the conversation just to avoid it.
I guess I just don't like saying goodbye. I don't like the moment of letting go and I avoid it. It kind of hurts. Like someone is peeling my fingers off of something that I don't want to let go of. Like a little kid holding onto something for dear life while his mother makes him let go.
In my mind, I hear myself screaming, "NO, MOMMY NO. I DON'T WANT TO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." I have no idea where that comes from, but I will inquire in my next private moment. (I'm not going to use the W word here even though I think it is).
It's really just that moment. Once I'm gone or the person is gone, I'm absolutely fine. I move on without a thought. It's just that one moment I dislike and try to avoid.
I am going to be curious about it. That's all.
Also, to acknowledge that my blog has been a comfort and great help to me. I've been able to work out feeling stuck, uncomfortable, confused, sad, frustrated, or overwhelmed. I've been able to share my journey - publishing my book, Corona, my children, my mom and many other life events. It has helped me create freedom where there hasn't been any. I don't know where I would be without it. (Almost like having a great friend that I can say anything to - it doesn't interrupt, judge or give advice.)
All of that being said, welcome to my new blog home: Getting Real with Hilary. Thank you for following me and, as always, thanks for listening.