I’ve had some unexpected expenses the past few weeks.
And before that I bought some new clothes.
Rather than keeping my credit card balance at 0, it has now crept up again.
And my mind wants to jump to:
something is wrong
I’m going to die
I’m out of control
I’m going in the wrong direction
My balance is going to keep going up and there’s NOTHING I CAN DO!!
I’m helpless and powerless
I had it perfect and I blew it
PANIC AND FEAR AND FULL BLOWN BODY SENSATIONS OF TIGHT CHEST, HEADACHE, CAN’T BREATHE
It’s really amazing. And it’s just like when I think I’m gaining weight. Or when I wake up in a panic. It’s the similar thoughts and body sensations.
This week I’ve had the following expenses:
more money to my boss for rent, contests and recruiting
and next week the upcoming trip to Los Angeles
Being afraid isn’t going to help me. Each time I’ve been aware of my discomfort, I’ve changed my thoughts from fear to:
I am living in ABUNDANCE
And I take a deep breath. And my whole body relaxes.
I guess I’ve had this ongoing thing……when I feel out of control, I get afraid. And then I try to control things. And it seems then that things get worse. I spend more, or eat more, or worry more.
It doesn’t help AT ALL.
So if I think I’m a thin person or I’m living in abundance or I am successful, my being and energy changes.
I’ve been listening to the Oprah Super Soul Sunday podcasts. They talk about being a channel for universal energy (probably not what they called it but I can’t remember their exact words right now). I actually feel different when I stop trying to control things and let them happen.
And wonder why I’ve always focused on what I’m afraid of? I guess it doesn’t matter, it’s just being human.
Well now, I am feeling calm. And imagining what I REALLY WANT:
a fit healthy trim body
a great partnership with a loving, faithful man
a fulfilled, happy, prospering family
spreading love and acceptance around the world
creating a connecting, loving world community
And that feels much calmer and much more peaceful. Instead of worrying about whether I am packing the right clothes for my trip, I can calmly sort through the piles of potential clothes and just be calm. (Well, I’m not sure if I can do that yet, but I’ll certainly work on it tomorrow. Packing is not my best thing right now.)
Oops – I’ll use the new technique. I am a smart and wonderful packer. That takes off the pressure of trying to “get it right”.
See how easy it is…….ok, more later.